Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Randomize
