last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
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