Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
worst night to have a conscience
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
