pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
