You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Randomize
