i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just blew my weed a kiss
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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