Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Never underestimate the power of titties
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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