I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
