I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Randomize
