Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
im holly from the hills drunk
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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