Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
