he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
