Having a random hookup so left but love u
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Randomize
