She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
