the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
