I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
only you would photoshop your dick
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
