Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
