I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
