Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I just want nice things and good sex
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
