is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It all started with a game of naked twister.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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