so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
