I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I can't turn off my feet"
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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