already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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