I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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