He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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