my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
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