goodnight i made you a song goodbye
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
