I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
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