Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Randomize
