It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
