Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Randomize
