You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
