I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
