i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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