I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
