he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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