I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
