Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
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