do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
