The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize