Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
