why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
