discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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