Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
