I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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