I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
