You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
