did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I think i got beer on your cat.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
