Will you blow on my dice?
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Randomize
