Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I want to fling myself into the sun
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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