But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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